It's not all about me

I had the audacity to make my parents a cute little card on my birthday some years back, using this photo, to thank them for having me. I wasn’t exclaiming that I was so wonderful, but seriously thanking them for raising me. The older I get the more I think of my parents on my birthday, especially my mom (for obvious reasons). My birthday is not all about me.

My mother was probably the greatest influencer in my life. She quietly invested in her children’s lives by loving us, reading to us, clothing and feeding us (delicious) meals, organizing us, teaching us what we needed to know, enabling us to stretch our wings, and most of all teaching us about Jesus’ love for us. 

I know they waited awhile for me, as my sister was almost four years older than I, and then waited another 3-4 weeks for me to actually arrive (I had been due the 4^th of July and came the 30th). I’ve always heard a bumpy truck ride helped to move me along. My grandparents came for the month of July to help my dad build our house. They finally left to go back home the day before I was born!

Mom didn’t have an easy life as a busy pastor’s wife, but I never heard her complain. Never. I also don’t think I was the easiest of their four kids to rear. The middle of three girls (with a baby brother), I was the one to march outside the lines. So that’s why I’m thinking especially of my mom on this another birthday. I miss her, but I see her everywhere—in myself and in our home, in the way I do things, and in her progeny. “Her children rise up and call her blessed.”

A Tale of Two Chairs

When we give something away, God sometimes gives us back something even better. A couple of years ago I gave away our much loved old wood highchair without thinking too seriously about it. There was an urgent need for a family with a baby and another foster baby arriving. Both our pack n play and highchair went quickly over to their house. 

I kind of thought I might get it returned, but when the foster child left, I heard nothing about it. By this time I knew we had a surprise grand baby coming. I kept looking for another old wood highchair but none were affordable. 

So we got an inexpensive highchair from IKEA that all our young family friends apparently L O V E. In fact I read that someone actually took one through a car wash--they are so durable and easy to clean. After our grandson's first birthday cupcake eating, his parents just hosed theirs down. 

It has served us well this year, but I call it a "spaceship" and it seems like it would be hot to sit in during our summer months. Plus, it's not quite like our decor.

And then one day a friend texted me a picture of an old dusty highchair. "Do you know anyone who needs this?" 

Within an hour it was in our garage. It cleaned up so well and even matches our kitchen chairs and takes up way less room. The white spaceship went somewhere else where it was needed.

It is a lesson to me about patience and how God delights in blessing us. 

I can't look at it without smiling and remembering.

Let's try 6 on Saturday

1.Younger friends have been so thoughtful in adding our short list to theirs when they shop at Costco or Aldi's, while I do curbside for the bulk of our groceries. So when we ventured out to a big hardware store yesterday, it had been 60 days since we'd been inside a store. The only strange thing was most everyone wearing masks, and sales folks being extra helpful. But when trying to talk through the plastic separation, AND a mask, it was difficult to hear. 

And I might have lowered my mask, which I question the value of anyway, to make my request clear.

2. I was wanting paint and had been waiting so patiently for two months. 

I found just the blue I wanted for a fun project and began to paint our porch chairs soon after I got home. 

The weather has been so wonderful and the low humidity just may be helping to give me all the energy I seem to have.

Actually it rained an unusually soft rain while I painted, and it was "a moment"--

painting is like big coloring for me, and the sound of rain on the roof just added to the pleasure.

3. I was reading in Luke the story of the man who was getting visitors so knocked on the door of a friend late at night asking for bread. He got it, my version said, due to his impudence, which a footnote defined as "persistance."

I know the word impudent to mean "not showing respect; impertinent." Maybe in some fashion it means both, but the reason my antenna rises when I read the word "impudent" is the 500 lines I had to write when I was a kid. 

"It is impudent and rude to say "so what?'" 

And I have not used that expression since.

4. Our table has never been so silent. Though I'm obviously cooking a lot, as most of us are, 

I wonder will I get my knack back for cooking for a full table of guests? And when?

5. Fifty years and one week ago, my boyfriend (a.k.a. The Gardener) and I climbed a favorite mountain of ours across the Hudson River from our college, and he asked me to marry him. It happened to be on the same date, two years prior, of our first date. I put this very special anniversary on fb, and sigh, everyone thought it was our 50th wedding anniversary, 

even though I said that "he asked a question and I gave the best answer I've ever given." 

I think when you get to the alter (we were married in a church like most back then) you've already been asked the question! There was no photographer there, people didn't do that kind of thing back then, but I guess we each took a photo of the other and I had fun putting them together to look like one image. But my guess is we were sitting a bit closer on such an occasion! 

6. Last but not least on this long post, my beloved and only still-living uncle celebrates his 95th birthday today. 

We had a lovely visit with them on face time--once we heard they knew how to do that. 

He collected old cars throughout his life, and we loved the treat of going for a ride in them.

bad times

I overheard the Gardener, a historian by trade, talking to a friend on the phone. "Bad times come," he commented, "we know that from history." These are very hard times, possibly the hardest many of us remember. But our parents (should we be numbered among those whose parents are no longer living) would remember harder times--the Great Depression and WW II to name at least two.

The Gardener had to have a routine blood test today so drove to the doctor's office and two lab techs came out--one to take his temperature and one to draw his blood. Before he arrived home he got a call from his doctor to discuss the results. This new way seems simpler and took a shorter amount of time than the usual. Maybe it should be how they always do it from now on. And our doctor took the time to check to make sure we were staying home and not even going into stores.

I admit the quarantine is starting to "get" to me on this day #35 and today I felt it. I've mostly enjoyed this forced "stop" of much of life, but today I wondered when it would be over, especially for those of us who are at a higher risk. And I miss being with the grands. There's just nothing like quality time spent together--much better than a distance visit or a zoom call.

But I know most people have it much harder than we do. So I snap out of any
wallowing and move right on to the gratitude list. There is so much on that list.

1. I have grandchildren to miss.

2. Spring has not been canceled and it has been glorious, pollen and all!
Wonderful days outdoors, taking it all in.

3. Even if I don't have all I would like to have in the pantry, we are blessed with food to make,
and that's a lot better than many.

4. We are retired so don't have jobs to lose.

5. We have plenty to do at home to keep us busy and entertained.

6. Technology helps us stay connected with friends.

7. Our church provides us wonderful worship each week.

I found this picture of our kids and their cousins from years ago.

It seems timely for these days, but I have no idea what was going on.

I hope you are all managing, and staying healthy.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

my face itches

It seems that as soon as I get into a public place, which is usually only the grocery store, my face starts to itch. Have you found that? I think we probably touch our faces a lot, and that, among a list of other things, is off limits these days.

There's a new kind of thinking we have to do now, at least we are, ... the steps to safely go to the grocery store or the curbside pick-up (which we try to do), bringing the bags into the house, getting the mail, receiving packages.

This is Day #23 of us staying at home. It hasn't been too bad, but I often think what it would be like if our electricity or internet were down. We have so much to be thankful for, and so much to entertain ourselves at home. I haven't done half of what I'd like to do. We happen to be in a glorious spring, so walks outside and yard work are wonderful diversions.

We eat a lot of ground turkey, but I haven't been able to find it in a store for the last two weeks (nor have friends who offer to shop for me.) That's a mild concern for me, but there's so much more to be concerned about. I don't need to list it here, but it has been hard to see friends lose jobs or have work hours reduced dramatically. The list of friends to pray for that are dealing with cancer or other traumas continues to grow.

So the most important thing we can do during this time is to pray for our lists, and for those in authority, for those suffering, for those who can't see their loved ones dying with covid. And as Edie Wadsworth, a blogger, said, "Let's let the suffering do it's work. May we submit to its teaching. What can we learn about ourselves right now?"

And I look around and see so much to be grateful for. Good things come out of hard times. Blessings come with having to stay home. And I try to focus on them.

More time to enjoy spring and going for walks.
Good chance to see some movies or TV series I've missed.
Good books to read.
Technology to chat with our grands, text or call to check on friends, our weekly Bible study on zoom, worship services online, and even zoom a birthday celebration.
More time to do creative things, even if its expressed with place settings.
Getting crochet projects finished.

A fun visit with friends in a park parking lot as we "social distanced."
Seeing families out walking, riding bikes, being creative.
All the funny memes, and jokes--it's good to laugh.
Enjoying all the creative ways Americans are coming together to help each other.

Grateful for a neighbor, a former fireman, who climbed up our roof to refasten loose siding (he did not tell his wife.)
The opportunity to slow down, think and reflect more, and be grateful.

And speaking of roofs, we loved bringing a care package to the grands and 

having a window visit, even though it interrupted their school work! 

mountain lodge wedding

Some time ago we attended a wedding in an old mountain lodge overlooking a river.
I wasn't so enthusiastic about the wedding since I wouldn't know anyone there.
The bride's father, who I've only met once, is a friend and colleague of the Gardener's.
The Gardener was keen to go, so we made a little get away of it,
traveling two hours south for the wedding, spending the night near there,
 and exploring the city in that area the next morning before returning home.

The wedding venue was a state park and the weather was on the verge of
a storm so the ceremony was held inside the park's rustic lodge with a
 beautiful view. It was perfectly fitting for what
I would call a throw-back to the 60s wedding.

The young minister was neatly dressed in jeans and rolled up shirt sleeves.
A guitar played old folk songs as the bride and her attendants walked up an aisle
strewn with wildflowers. The girls, dressed in different off-white dresses and sandals,
 carried freshly picked sprigs of green, with wreaths of flowers adorning their heads.
The couple planted a tree together to signify their new unity
while we sang "This Is My Father's World."

Some guests picked flowers from vases at the lodge entrance,
and tucked them in their hair. 

We snacked on grapes and listened to John Denver while we waited for
the wedding pictures to be taken. The bride and groom had their first dance
as raindrops began to fall. Then they served barbecue.

The bride and her groom were so in love, smiling their joy constantly,
and seemed very at home with themselves and their wedding.
The were surrounded by 18 attendants, family and
many college friends there to observe and to help.

It was such a relaxed wedding.
For us it was like stepping back into the 60s and felt oh so familiar.

collecting rent

       "...if we don't take the meaning of these stories literally, 

if we treat these tales as simply entertainment, we miss the deepest, 

most life-changing aspects of ... stories. We miss the entire reason they exist. 

... They carry messages that are older than the words themselves, 

messages that reach beyond the page."

At first I joined in reading The Rent Collector because it was the book 

we were reading for book club. I wasn't so keen on reading about about 

life on a Cambodian municipal dump.

From my cross cultural experiences I knew that a lot of life would be lived out even in a dump, 

and indeed it was, in all of its complexity. 

It didn't take long to get totally engaged in the story, 

and to fall in love with the characters.

It's a story much beyond life in the dump; it is filled with redemption, 

the power of the written word, and knowing how to read it.

I won't say more, but I do recommend the book. 

We had a smaller group for this gathering, but it was due to busy women, not the book. 

Our fare was simpler, and we took delight in our discussion.

"Whether we like it or not, hope is written so deeply into our hearts 

that we just can't help ourselves, no matter how hard we try otherwise."

All quotes from The Rent Collector.

because of a sweater

I may be the only female who has nodded off watching the newly-released Downton Abbey.

And it's all because of a sweater. 

In spite of the blistering heat we still are enduring 

(yes, that's the best word--enduring), the contrasting air conditioning inside 

buildings can actually feel too cold for me. Thus a sweater comes along to church, 

movies, and other places where I may sit awhile. 

We viewed the film with a group of my sister's and her hubby's friends while 

we were visiting them.  I never dreamed I'd fall asleep, as I often am known to do, 

since I was sitting next to people I don't know that well. 

And certainly not at the long-awaited Downton Abbey.

I tried leaning forward in my seat. But eventually I sat back for more comfort 

and tossed my sweater over my front like a blanket since I was cold. 

I started to get warm and cozy. That's all it took.

I don't think I missed much, but I did miss the royals' arrival. 

I can't believe it.  (I hope I'll see it again.)

It was so enjoyable, for the most part. And, my, "how the children have grown." 

It nicely tidied up a few story lines, but left us with some new questions.  

So maybe ....

Note to self: next time leave sweater home and plan to chill.

(Photo: Jefferson Davis' last home.)

a perfect setting

Our summer book club was simple: a children's classic that

some of us had read to our children:  The Wind in the Willows.

I wasn't crazy about the book the first time I tried to read it, but this time

I enjoyed it more and gained a new appreciation for it, though it is still

not my favorite book by any means.

But we had a wonderful "picnic" breakfast down in 

Bonnie's "Little Book Room."

The treats were carefully chosen to go along with the story

and we enjoyed such tastiness while we discussed.

Bonnie's daughter had just returned from Malaysia where she bought her 

mom a beautiful copy of the book (centerpiece top photo.)

It was lovely to visit B's private children's library--the perfect setting to discuss such a book.

Some of us had contributed volumes to it, some of us had watched it become a book room.

A beautiful morning with good friends. 

So inviting to linger in the coolness of the library on such a hot day.

Bonus:

A posse of good friends celebrated birthdays this summer with a day in the mountains.

We got more than a few looks, and mostly smiles, 

as we--older, hatted women--sailed into a parking spot in downtown Blowing Rock! 

recently rediscovered

  I'm so thankful my parents encouraged me to start working at a young age. 
First it was babysitting jobs, and only one of my regular jobs was easy.

 The others involved cooking supper, cleaning up the kitchen, reading stories, and Saturday night baths. Often I cared for large families. But I am so grateful for all the experiences and the training I received from such work. 

And then came the day when I took my SS card and went down to the local nursing home to apply for a job as a nurse's aid. Then the experiences really began. Caring for elderly patients in ways I never anticipated was tough, but stood me in good stead in life experiences and for nursing school. 

(I see so many young people today who don't work in the summers 

and think of all they are missing that might help them as they mature in life.)

But I digress. The main point is to share a poem I recently rediscovered. A good friend showed me a journal I had given her a few years ago, and inside I had copied this poem. The poet is approaching 90 now but still so active and just signed with a publisher for her next poetry volume. She is the connection to the babysitting discourse above. I babysat often for her five kids and it was one of those all encompassing jobs. Wow, a lot of responsibility and I was only 14.  

I sure learned a lot and am grateful. 

Wrong Turn

by Luci Shaw

I took a wrong turn the other day.

A mistake, but it led me to the shop where I found

the very thing I'd been searching for.

With my brother I opened a packet of old letters from my mother and saw a side of her

that sweetened what had been deeply sour.

Later that day the radio sang a song from

a time when I was discovering love,

and it folded me into itself again.

from What the Light was Like, WordFarm, 2006

Could Mere Loving Be Life's Work?

I pondered the thought of loving as life's work while reading The Dean's Watch by Elizabeth Goudge.

The pages of my reading journal filled with quotes from the book that I want to remember.

Once again E. Goudge used her descriptive skills to take us deep into the story about 

a clockmaker who develops a friendship with the formidable Dean of the cathedral. 

She writes so well we can't help but fall in love with her characters. 

It's hard to pick a favorite character, but mine might be Miss Montague. And here's a quote about her:

"Could mere loving be life's work? Could it be a career like marriage or nursing the sick or going on stage? Could it be adventure? ... So she took a vow to love ... she was different from the majority because she kept the vow, 

kept it even after she discovered the cost of simplicity."

"Until now she only read her Bible as a pious exercise, but now she read it as 

an engineer reads a blueprint and a traveller a map ... 

but with a profound concentration because her life depended on it."

Once again we enjoyed time around the table discussing the book on a Monday morning (when we find most of us can meet.) We are doing our best to simplify our meetings so had only tea, cookies, grapes, and nuts. 

A good time was had by all at Lydia Grace's lovely and cheerful table.

backward

When a friend of the Gardener called to ask him to read a book, and then could they 

get together to talk about it, I took note and wondered what could be so good.

Little by little I heard bits and pieces of the book, and then the guys

asked if we girls would read it and discuss it together. So when we were planning

our next book club, we concluded this would be the book to read. It's easy to read, 

and this is true from the back cover: "...was written to shake up our expectations 

and priorities for what it means to live 'the good life.'"

The author is a minister in Aberdeen, Scotland. The book is a sort of

exposition on the book of Ecclesiastes. It's not a heavy tome, and it is

filled with practical wisdom. It probably is one of the most significant books

I have read in a very long time. I highly recommend it.

Our book club is meeting often in the morning as it seems to be when more are available. 

This time we kept the food very simple--nuts, chocolate, strawberries and cheese. 

Since my house is small and our group is large, we arranged chairs with small 

snack tables around the edge of our dining room and it worked really well.  

I loved using my grandmother's pink depression glass, 

and another friend's mother's teapot, 

and another friend's mother's gorgeous linen tablecloth (all gifts to me!)

It was a sweet time as we shared parts of the book that spoke to us.

Our next book is Elizabeth Goudge's The Dean's Watch.

Some of us are following an IG reading of this book.

One of our members happened to recently host a Scottish young man 

who is a mentee of the author of the book. So we took a group picture 

holding our books for Rev. Gibson--to encourage him!

"If you knew what would happen to you tomorrow, how would you live today?"

and the month whirled by

I keep thinking we'll settle into some sort of retirement routine. So far, almost two months into it, nothing is routine.  My plan is to spend some "blog time" and then something more comes along.

Here's some highlights:

1. I'm enjoying cooking more than ever, and I've concluded it's because I'm less stressed by the work I was doing, and have more time. So we've had lots of guests at our table, including two students studying at a nearby seminary staying a week with us. I've made a lot of apple pies (I can easily get in a rut). I decided one day to actually measure what three cups of apples looks like inside the crust and discovered I've been doing it right by guessing all these many years.

2. I've been playing with table settings. A friend gave me the idea of setting the table even if guests aren't coming, to experiment and enjoy various settings. It's been fun and I guess it's basically playing with big girl toys.  And then I decided to use the setting and had folks over for dinner. I'm going to do this again. It's like therapy!

 

3. Believe it or not, 22 of us friends had an old fashioned hymn sing and we had so much fun. Most of us had grown up singing hymns so knew many of them by heart. I had to refresh my rusty piano skills. And we all want to do it again.

4. The fun of valentine's week was helping the grands to make valentines. 

And these flowers lasted over two weeks!

5. Bread night with our mentor group was a big hit. We talked about making a house a home, and then went over to the church kitchen to learn the art of bread making (the most fun was kneading). The girls went home with a loaf of bread that needed to rise in the fridge over night. The next morning the photo texts flew in of the freshly baked bread their families were enjoying!

 6. Our church had "Cooking for a Cause" week where women gathered in homes to make four meals (the organizers had purchased and portioned out ingredients) to be placed in the freezer. They will be used when a family or sick person needs a meal. It was an interesting and fun time, working with older women who all have different ways of doing things! I did not know most of them, so it was nice to get to know some new women.

7. I've been exploring my grandfather's boxes of old movies that my uncle passed on to me and deciding what to do with all of them. Some of them are cartoons he bought for his children, there are newsreels from the 1940s, as well as old family movies. One is my mother's graduation from college.

These are a bit of a burden to me but I'm trying to work through it all sensibly, and not panic! 

8. Spring is definitely here a little early, brought to us by two weeks of rain and a few warm days. 

I've had to mow our grass twice now. Word has it winter is returning tomorrow. 

9. No matter how warm a day, evenings are always chilly and it's a great time to crochet.

The grands have requested more "blankies" even though they already have them. 

I think they wanted new colors. Crocheting in the evening helps to keep me awake!

  

linen or not

We have used cloth napkins most of our married life.  Not the kind you have to iron, mind you. 

Once or twice a week they get thrown in the wash. 

We each have our own napkin rings that let us know which napkin is ours. 

I use cloth for company too--even if they need to be ironed, I don't mind. 

Ironing napkins is rather relaxing, compared to some ironing.

The other day I used some old, thin linen napkins of my mother's. They were at least 

76 years old. I can remember my mom washing them, then sprinkling them with water 

and wrapping them up in plastic. She kept them like that in the frig until she had 

the time to iron them (or one of her girls were tasked with the job.)

You can see how thin they look here. As I was contemplating how to get these napkins crisp and lovely again, I heard an idea. Very simply: clean your countertop (I think it would have to be some granite-type surface, but not sure). Get the napkin wet and stretch it out well on the countertop.

In the morning fold it, using your fingernail to press a crisp crease on the folds.

It seemed like magic to me. I was amazed at how nice they looked.

This is probably some old-school method, but new to 

me and certainly was easier than ironing.

In my opinion, cloth napkins add a touch of elegance even to the simplest 

table setting. And nice paper napkins are costly. 

I'm looking forward to using these again and hope they will last a bit longer! 

stress less

Do you ever feel chagrin about something in your past? When we were care givers for an elderly man, two seminary students lived with us and helped with things. I cooked for everyone each evening and requested that the guys let me know if they weren't going to be there for dinner so I could plan and cook accordingly. They weren't too good at complying with my request and it irritated me--even stressed me out a bit.

Looking back I ask, "Why?" Was it a desire to be in control? I didn't want to waste food, but, for goodness sake, we love left-overs anyway. What was the big deal? Years later I feel--maybe better words than chagrin--regret and remorse.

Over the years we've had houseguests that I don't know. "Strangers at our gate." 

Well-known religious statesmen, former criminals, college students, friends of friends 

passing through, and more. In my younger days I used to fuss and 

feel uncomfortable and stress about meals and how it would all work.

Needless worry. Lesson learned over and over. Scripture from Hebrews 2 talks about angels:

"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained 

angels without knowing it."

Each and every stranger at our gate was a delight. 

Each one enriched our lives far more than the food and shelter we gave them. 

One man I actually thought might be a true "angel in disguise."

So next week when two seminary students from far-off knock at our door to live with us 

and attend a week-long concentrated course, I will welcome them with joy and cook for them 

with pleasure. And enjoy leftovers if there are any!

bullet thoughts

As some years end, we hope the new year will be better. For us, this year contained both good and bad, some momentous things, many mundane, and many reasons to give thanks. We welcome this new year as we, in a sense, enter the unknown. The Gardener officially retires tomorrow and we begin to walk a new road.  Now to some random thoughts organized in bullet points:

1. One of my favorite things about this time of year are the Christmas cards or greetings that arrive in the mail (or, more and more, by email). But either way, it's just great to catch up with distant family and old friends. A wonderful tradition. I love to brew a cup of tea and sit down and digest the news and study the family photos.

2. I came upon a batch of old books from the early 1900s that belonged to my grandmother and one to her sister, Annie. About the same time I learned about a second cousin once-removed, who is great-granddaughter to Annie. She wanted Annie's book and I happily mailed it to her. As I continue to work ever so slowly on cleaning out our house, I find great pleasure in passing things on to people who want them. My nieces wanted the rest of the books, albeit mainly because they love old books.

3. It's always bittersweet to take down the tree. Sweet memories of good times, along with a desire to unclutter and begin a new year. And so down it comes today.

4. There was so much joy in receiving this mini painting from my five-year old granddaughter who gave with as much joy and excitement as I received it. I'm sure she'll smile when she sees the place of honor it has. There is more joy in giving than receiving, but I'd say this gift was about equal on both counts.

5. Above are some highlights of this past year. Each one represents a special time, a special trip, or a simple every day moment. But each one brings a reason to feel gratitude.

Friday Four

1. We won't forget autumn in 2018. Two hurricanes in two weeks. We cleaned up from Florence the best we could before leaving for two weeks down south. Florence had been anticipated blow by blow for over a week but didn't amount to as much as expected, thankfully.
While in FL I visited a new market with my sister that is full of 

fresh produce to the extent that it's truly "eye candy." 

2. We visited with old friends and went out for lunch to a place E. chose because it reminded her of me.   

Blue and white everywhere! Another delight for the eyes, and so thoughtful of her. 

I think my love for blue and white is well known!

3. Back home in time for Hurricane Michael, this one not nearly as well

planned for as it seemed to come up suddenly. 

And caused more damage than the long anticipated Florence.

A leak sprung around an upstairs dormer window, decorating our dining room ceiling.

The good news on this was that when the guys came to repair the roof

––since they were all over the roof top with such agility––

I asked if they would clean mildew off the high gutters and siding,

a job we wondered how we'd get it done. And they did. So grateful.

 4. Things were busy once we arrived home, besides the storm. 

Bookclub, delayed by the first hurricane, 

met for a lovely British tea at Rhondi's house. 

We had a lively discussion on Lady Almina and the Real Downton Abbey

Then a birthday lunch at my house ...