My cousin lost her mother a few years before I did.
I won’t forget her telling me that grief, even months later, will hit you when
you least expect it. That happened to me the other day when I turned on
some music that we often played as Mom was at the end of her life.
I was overwhelmed by emotion as it began playing and I was transported to her bedside.
I won’t forget her telling me that grief, even months later, will hit you when
you least expect it. That happened to me the other day when I turned on
some music that we often played as Mom was at the end of her life.
I was overwhelmed by emotion as it began playing and I was transported to her bedside.
But it was a different kind of sadness that amazed me the
other day as
I browsed in an antique shop. I do love a good antique shop. I don’t buy often,
but find it relaxing and in tune with my love of history.
So many things remind me of the past, of my grandparents or my childhood.
I browsed in an antique shop. I do love a good antique shop. I don’t buy often,
but find it relaxing and in tune with my love of history.
So many things remind me of the past, of my grandparents or my childhood.
More and
more I see things that my parents would have owned, but now leave
behind, as
their generation, the “builders,” pass from this earth.
I guess that was the sadness that hit me this time. I looked
at whole sets of dishes in
wonderful shape. Some my mom had; some I remember from relatives or her friends.
I wondered about what starry-eyed bride may have chosen a particular sets of dishes,
or the family or friends who ate at the tables set with such loveliness.
It doesn't seem like the next generation wants these as now they sit lonely
on a shelf echoing voices of the past, hoping to be loved again.
It was strange to feel such an emotion, but I realized that I was mourning the
generation of my parents, the "Builders." That generation seems so silent now
and those few who remain seem to be passing quickly from this earth.
I’ve been to quite a few funerals in the past few months.
wonderful shape. Some my mom had; some I remember from relatives or her friends.
I wondered about what starry-eyed bride may have chosen a particular sets of dishes,
or the family or friends who ate at the tables set with such loveliness.
It doesn't seem like the next generation wants these as now they sit lonely
on a shelf echoing voices of the past, hoping to be loved again.
It was strange to feel such an emotion, but I realized that I was mourning the
generation of my parents, the "Builders." That generation seems so silent now
and those few who remain seem to be passing quickly from this earth.
I’ve been to quite a few funerals in the past few months.
The sobering thing is that this means my generation
is rapidly becoming the “older” generation. :-)
is rapidly becoming the “older” generation. :-)
You passed your wave of grief on with your words, Dotsie... I'm with you. Well said. blessings and hugs ~ tanna
ReplyDeleteWell said! I do know what you mean. When I least expect it, something will trigger a memory of my mother. Sometimes it causes overwhelming grief. Most times, it makes me smile.
ReplyDeleteBest,
Bonnie
Yes, sobering thoughts. With the recent passing of my aunt, death (and life) has been a frequent topic here lately. Ron said to me that, although his father passed away two and a half years ago, it is no easier now than the day he died. Grief is such a surprising thing...
ReplyDeleteA few days ago, several of us began the process of sorting through my aunt's earthly possessions. (She never married, thus had no children.) She had a large home filled with beautiful things, new and old. And although I know that they are temporal things, they are so closely associated with her and with the family...it was a hard day.
These remembrances are a challenge to us...to leave behind the things that matter.
Oh my goodness...I have missed three posts! LOVED the Grandma pics!!! Loved the pillow pics! Loved the shadows post! LOVED this post! Your words could have so easily come from my very own lips! So often, while browsing in a thrift or antique, I see such lovely things, that were so obviously well cared for, in their day. And they now lay rejected for pennies. I find myself wondering about the people who may be thrilled to find one of my quilts or cherished things, in a thrift, hopefully, many years from now? I say it is our duty to save the treasures, that someone else so carelessly toss!!
ReplyDeletexo Kris
This post will, I'm sure, touch many of us, Dotsie. That basket could be the contents of the top drawer of my buffet - doilies, hankies, plate liners and dresser runners, all lovingly hand-tatted, ironed and well-preserved. The Builders - I like that.
ReplyDeletePodso,
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you today, especially, dear friend! I, too, have many wordly treasures from both our families. There will come a time in your life when the "triggers" of music, words, things begin to bring you comfort liken to that of your loved ones arms wrapped sweetly around you. Until then, be assured that many are touched by your voice.
Fondly,
Pat
While Reading your sentimental post, I started to think that I would feel like that when my mother passes too and I couldn't help but get so sad!!! When I least expect I also remember my dad and I smile many times, but tan I can help but wish he was here! Love all that pink depression glass. Have a nice weekend.
ReplyDeleteFABBY
I get waves of thought much like yours when in variety/antique shops.Your post was so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI like how you called them, The Builders. They did build memories that we all share, in our own way.
ReplyDeleteI have kept many treasured beauties, that I will pass on down. Leaving fond memories behind for the next generations.
(Your words are playing over and over in my mind)
I do like how you've captured our parents' generation as the builders. We strive to maintain their values and expectations but as you say, the next generation just isn't interested. It's the material things like the silver and china passed down that is sad. There they sit in antique stores because no one wants them, except maybe us.
ReplyDeleteThere will always be things to remind me of my late parents and sometimes they bring a tear to my eye, but for the most part happy memories are attached.
Nice post Dotsie.
Judith
Pondside sent me over here, and I am so glad she did. I know I will now be a regular. I can so relate to your sweet words today. Thank you for sharing and bringing back memories. Susan
ReplyDeleteI have the same waves of emotion once in a while too, Dotsie. It just rolls over me like a wave. Something will trigger the memories that sweep me along. Look at all the pretty dishes and that gorgeous Depression glass. Even the basket of linens evokes memories. Blessings and hugs. Pam
ReplyDeleteYes, we are becoming the older generation faster than I care to think...and it is so sad that the younger folks have no interest in china, silver or crystal or anything old.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend, dotsie.
I felt this instant connection with you right now. I'm feeling so nostalgic and sad but not for any "real" reason.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad mentioned that they are now the "older generation" at church. It made me gulp when I looked around.
Big hugs my sweet friend.
Leann
I ma lucky to still have my mom. She just turned 90 last month, but all those things on the shelves. I see them in the shops here and it makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteHow quickly we discard what others treasured. I like the idea of our parents' generation as "the builders." I'm blessed to have mine still with me, healthy and active, and I dread the day when things change.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
I hear what your saying, and I feel that sadness too about seeing those dishes now for sale. It seems sad that no one in their families want them.
ReplyDeleteI hope to carry the torch, to be a builder for the generations that follow.
Deanna
Pondside had a link to your post and I am pleased that she did so I could read it. I have the same feeling as you as I often go to flea markets and antique markets. Last time we went I saw an ice cube crusher, just like the one I bought in San Francisco before I was married (in the mid 1960s.) The price was high and the young vendor said “well, it is quite old – it’s from the 60s” and that made me feel ancient too!
ReplyDeleteWe said goodbye to one of my generation today. Sixty-three with a form of dementia that was very aggressive. She'd been in a nursing home for a year. Yes, we are losing "the builders" and it is now our turn to step up to the stile. I hope that we might do them proud, but after reading Honora's post, I imagine not. We just didn't have the raising our parents did.
ReplyDeleteAll I ask is that people love stuff that matters. I wish they would love the old but understand not everyone does. Connecting with the beauty of the past in old dishes or silver or fabric or furniture or whatever is right. But I get that people don't . So glad you do.
ReplyDeleteI, too, like to browse in antique shops for much of the same reason. It is relaxing and peaceful to see these objects of the past, to be transported back to younger days. I lost my mom this past November. She was 99. Then a short two weeks later, my aunt, who would have been 93 January 4th, unexpectedly died. They could find no cause. I believe she died of a broken heart after my mom's passing. For our family, it is the end of a generation. The builders, I love that term. Indeed they were! They had respect for others and the environment. Most recycled just about everything before recycling was a buzz word. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for this thoughtful post.
You're right, our generation is fast becoming the older generation. When I think about the fact that my son will be 40 in less than four years, I am faced with the fact that I am growing old-er. My dad was one of the builders, they were and still are a priceless generation. There are several in our church of that generation and we, my husband and I are very aware of how precious they are to us. We both lost our parents about twenty years ago... so we are drawn to and love people of that age.
ReplyDeleteLike Kris, I've missed quite a few of your posts, Dotsie, as I was traveling for a few days and then had to catch up at home when I got back.
ReplyDeleteWhat I've noticed now that I live in a community of mostly young families that everything old eventually becomes new again. Most of the houses here were built in the 90's and "updating" seems to be the rage here. When I see the updates they remind me of houses I saw in the 60's! It makes me smile.
Yes, we are fast approaching the "golden years," but that's OK. If we are lucky, it happens to us all! :)
How true this is. Last year I sold our parents home and offered my kids their choice of dishes and crystal that my Mom used when entertaining. No thanks they said. It was old style and not what they would use to serve their guests. I look around our home and a good portion of its accruements are hand me downs. I was and still am happy to have that piece of family history. Valerie
ReplyDeleteI shed a tear as I read this and thought of my parents who are both gone. I also remember all their friends and the quality of character and integrity they all had. I am concerned that has gone also. Thanks for the memories.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post. I've watched so many of my parents' generation pass away in the last 12 months. It's sobering.
ReplyDeleteI'm your latest follower. I feel sure we're kindred spirits.
ReplyDeleteI still have my mother.....but I often wonder when I pick her up on Friday at the beauty salon.....if this could per chance be the LAST time? She is 88 and I am 65. I AM a last generation to some now....
ReplyDeleteI often buy something in a thrift shop simply to give it a good home. A needle craft that took so many hours by SOMEONE and then neglected.....
I am visiting from Pondside and I MUST go now to find your 'Follow me' button!
What a precious piece. I too recognize many of those dishes from my own relatives. Yes, we are becoming the "older" generation.
ReplyDeleteHi-ya. I wandered over from Pondside's blog. It's nice to meet you.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if those unexpected sudden waves of grief that punch you in the chest ever entirely go away. After my mother's funeral almost twenty years ago, I visited my elderly aunt in the nursing home. We talked about her mother... my grandmother... who died in 1959. I said, "I'll bet you still miss her," and with tears in her eyes, she said, "Every day." And maybe that's just as it should be, you know? Special people leave an empty spot in our lives when they're gone, and thinking about them, missing them, fills that spot temporarily.
I love antique shops, too, although it is a teensy bit disconcerting to see items for sale that I still USE!
Count me in as your newest groupie.
Hello Podso,
ReplyDeleteI too like Susan ,came over to you from Pondside's blog.
This post is so touching. Recently I have been looking at some of my china ware.. and really dont use it all anymore. For me, long gone are the days of dinner parties. I have some things of my mum's..my sister also has some. My mother died in 1999.. and my father 2004. I miss them more with each passing year, and as i myself get older.
I recently lost a very dear friend. My ex husband.
That hit home, for me and our children
I am your latest follower i think!.. hope to see you over at my blog. Pleased to meet you. Val
My mother had those green ivy dishes at one time. We've been the 'oldest generation' (in our family) for quite a while now...it is still a sobering thought. And yes, it is amazing what triggers memories.
ReplyDeleteI have a few items that belonged to my grandmother and every now and then I take out my grandfather's shaving mug, or my grandmother's tea cup and allow myself to step back in time and just dwell in the sweet memories.
ReplyDeleteHow timely, Dotsie. I've been helping my mother go through all of her things as she prepares to move from her 3 bedroom older home to a one bedroom duplex in a retirement village. She has to downsize drastically, and although I would love to take her things for the girls "someday", we simply have no room. It's all been very emotional. She said its like a death...death of the life she's known up till now. She just turned 80.
ReplyDeleteI believe good things are also ahead for her....and she will be free from th burden she so often feels from all the "stuff", but it is still oh so hard.
I think what most it surprises me is seeing what are the hard things for her to part with, and what she seems to just toss away without a thought.
And for the record, we have certainly have kept some of the most priceless treasures.