Very soon I must turn over the keys to mom's apartment, thus ending a lifetime of "going home." There's a few things left to remove: remnants of my dad's library, an entertainment center and a cabinet waiting to be shipped to my sister. I'm not minding this stalling of completion of this project of emptying mom's home (she is now in assisted living), for I know there will be a huge "something" missing when I hand over the keys and can no longer go to what has been her home the past six years. Dad never lived there, but his memory is everywhere and has been as I sift through photos, papers, letters and much more. Sometimes I have to shake myself to come back to the present.
My cousin suggested that it is much gentler "breaking up" Mom's home while she is still living, than it would be if she were no longer with us. It's not a final good-bye, for Mom is just around the corner in her little room, surrounded by familiar things. It's homey and pretty, just like all her homes have been. I open the door and she's there, always welcoming me with a smile, and never complaining about all the changes that have recently come her way. Content to be content, that's my mother. (Oh that I'd learn that ...) So I guess I really can still go "home."
Photo: Mom's balcony view. We'll miss it, but we can see it from another porch when the weather gets warmer.
Dotsie, if you ever really figure out the secret to being content being content, will you pass it on to me? I do fairly good most of the time, but then I just really miss my daughter and grandchild. I guess because, like you, family and that connection are so very important to me.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how difficult it must be to "break up" your Mom's home. Very unsettling. You are very blessed to have a Mom who is so content. She sounds to be an angel here on earth. I would say, "enjoy," but I can tell there is no need. Blessings to you both.
I had a few tears reading your post. I've gone through moves with my mother after my father's death. Selling of the family home to an apartment to a special space in our home. And through it all, she never complained. When people told me what a wonderful daughter I was to bring my mother into my home, my response was "no, she is a special mother to honor us with her presence". I miss her!
ReplyDeleteBest,
Bonnie
We helped my MIL move to assisted living several years ago, and she took such pleasure in seeing some of her treasures go to her two grandchildren - it's lovely for her to know that beloved paintings hang in a house in Ontario, loved by the next generation.
ReplyDeleteYou're a sweet daughter. :)
ReplyDeleteThe assisted living sounds very nice. A stroke sent my Mom from her apt. to a nursing facility...and a dear friend came and helped me pack up Mom's things all of one day. Life is such a mixture of happy and sad, isn't it. But God is always in it with us, isn't he! (in so many ways).... I can't help reading your posts and having my memory and heart call up things with my Mom. You are a wonderful daughter...=)
ReplyDeleteHi Dotsie...
ReplyDeleteMy friend, I'm sure that this has been a difficult time for you...although it's such a blessing that your mama is still with you and just around the corner! I am happy to hear that your mama is doing so well with her recent move to asst. living...that is a blessing as well! So many changes come with the passing of time! I'm thankful for God's grace and presence through them all!
Well dear friend, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your last post! Guess I should have left you a note there. Your granite countertops are gorgeous and I love the new cabinet hardware! Isn't it funny how such a small thing as the hardware..can make such a big difference? Dotsie, your kitchen is beautiful! I love it! Thanks for sharing your beautiful kitchen redo with us!
Love ya,
Chari
Your cousin is a wise person...it is so much gentler doing this task while your mother is still with you than doing it once she is gone. I hope she is with you for many more years.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there are treasures in your
ReplyDeletehands as well as in heaven from this time of moving.
How thankful we are that we can still go home. I don't even want to face the thought of that day in the future ...! Enough! I'm thankful for today that I can still go home.. and that you can too. Sweet post.
ReplyDelete(someday can you do a post showing how you make small gift boxes out of cards?) :-)
Dotsie, I know this feeling, only I had to do it after my mother was gone, and it is hard no matter what. One of my sisters was able to help, but we each took turns separately, too. My heart is with you having to go through those memories. Do you know, there are still boxes that I raced to pack and haven't had the heart to go through? They sit and sit as if their owners are going to come back for them some day. But thankfully your dear mother is nearby, and you can enjoy her. While things can surely remind us of people and happy times, it's having those we love with us that makes life all the sweeter.
ReplyDeleteXO,
Sheila :-)
I know I will have to do the same one day in the future and I can only wish my Mom would be so accepting and content. She has been a widow many, many, years as we lost my dad when I was a teenager. My Mom had to be independent all her life since, and now that she is very elderly she does not wish to give up any of that independence, although her memory and body are weakening. Luckily, I live very close and help her a lot, but I worry all the time. As sad as this is, Dotsie, you are lucky your Mom is accepting of this change and you will know she is being well cared for. {{ Hugs}}
ReplyDeleteHi Dotsie...
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by to say hello, sweet friend! So glad that you came by for a visit today...I always enjoy your sweet notes! I hope that Thursday has treated you well, my friend! Take care!
Warmest wishes,
Chari
What a beautiful heartfelt post. How wonderful that your mother is content! That should ease your struggle a bit. We just moved my MIL into assisted living a couple of weeks ago, and she's anything but content. I pray she finds contentment quickly... Blessings as you make new memories with you mother in a new place.
ReplyDeleteLovely post, Dotsie. I'm glad your Mom is close by.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Zuzu
aww..this made me cry. You are a wonderful and caring daughter. And it sounds like you inherited it from your mom. I can't imagine how hard it will be to give over the keys. I'm praying that you will have a peace about it.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Tammy
Podso,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is with you! It is never easy to go through your parents items.
Just today, I've been going through stacks of papers and old greeting cards. . .pitching most out. .. thinking ,"What if something were to happen to me and my son were left with this task?" For one thing, he'd probably be mor efficient than I. Why do we think it important to keep all these material things?
Enjoy your Mother while she is still with you.
Fondly,
Pat
So glad I found your blog...it's very nice. I feel for you as you clean away your mother's belongings. It's a heart wrenching task. So glad she is still with you and happy with her present time of life...makes your life richer.
ReplyDeleteAlso, where the heck are those eggs??!!! Hope you solve that mystery! Best, Vicki