The man was tall and wearing an overcoat while holding a hat in his hand. His snowy white hair was perfectly groomed. He had to bend slightly to talk to the pretty woman as they leaned against the wall near the door. She clasped his hand, gazing up at him with shining eyes filled with love and just a touch of shyness. After what seemed a lifetime of marriage, they now lived apart and a public hall was where they said their goodbyes. When the time came that she needed the care provided there, he came along and lived with her while she got used to the place. Once she settled in, he went back home to live. After 60 or more years of marriage, their life together was now fragmented into his visits.
For a minute I was back at the main hall downstairs at our college girls' dorm. It was near curfew and couples were lined up along the walls, whispering those "sweet nothings" that people in love whisper to each other, sneaking kisses, lingering for those last minutes before time to part.
Back to the present. The love in their eyes; his tenderness towards her--caused my eyes to turn away from their private moment. I remembered the year before my dad died and my own parents had to be separated in the same way. It was heart-wrenching but necessary, and there was some relief in that. It's just unimaginable to me that such a thing might happen to the Gardener and me. But as I've watched people grow older at the retirement community where my parents have lived for the past 20 years, I've learned the slogan I hear them repeat often: "Old age isn't for sissies." I am amazed at how they take what comes with courage, live how they need to for what health issues they face, and do it all with grace and a good dose of humor. Deep and abiding faith and love glows through their circumstances.
I hope that if such a time comes to me that I will have even an ounce of the amazing contentment, gratitude and grace that my mother––and this sweet couple––show me each day.
Photo: My parents
Such a moving post. I too hope, should circumstance necessitate, to have the same character you describe. Our weekly Community Group is unique in that it is composed of mostly folks older that John and I. I gain such wisdom every time I am with them. They have all been through much and continue on their journey. I try to store away lessons from them that I know I will need down the road.
ReplyDelete"Grace and a good dose of humor" is what I hope for when needed.
ReplyDeleteBest,
Bonnie
I watched this with my parents. Your post brought tears to my eyes. My parents were so devoted to each other and spent the last years of their lives apart. My mother lived in another world and my dad was lost without her.
ReplyDeleteCarol
Yes, you said it all when you said, "grace and a good dose of humor." Not to underestimate the power of love. This is such a touching post, Dotsie. Looking forward makes me realize more and more how much I need to treasure and appreciate each day as it comes. Thank you for this beautiful post. blessings ~ tanna
ReplyDeleteThis one had to be read a second time.
ReplyDeleteMy mother often tells me that old age 'isn't for sissies' and as I watch her and my dad adjust, adapt and re-tool their day-to-day life, their routine and their house I pray that they will be able to go on as they are for a long time yet.
The picture you describe is so very poignant - the love, the sorrow, the resignation.
What an adorable couple your parents are...sweet photo. I don't like to think too far into the future. Running into one of my mother's dear friends, it was quite shocking to realize that she was "olden." I hear the older folks say that they don't know what's so "golden" about "The Golden Years."
ReplyDeleteThis sweet post brought tears to my eyes thinking of my late parents.
ReplyDeleteMy mother and my mother-in-law were both widows for 24 years and 34 years respectively. It's a thought I don't like - to be alone for years - and I pray for grace that God can give me should I have to be. Such a dear photo of your parents and a touching story. Thanks for sharing. Hugs, Pamela
ReplyDeleteHi Podso
ReplyDeleteLucky are the couples that live with health and spouse to the end.
Like your parents, mine were separated for a number of years and most often, Dad had tears in his eyes when we'd leave the nursing home.
I pray that I can grow old gracefully.
Nice post for contemplation.
Judith
That brought tears to my eyes. Something we don't think about much until someone we love is there. And some day it will be us. God give me grace and help me not be a sissie!
ReplyDeleteYou are making me cry...I don't want to think about that time coming, not yet anyways. What a heart break it must be for the one who has to leave the other behind to be looked after by professionals.
ReplyDeleteOld age is extremely difficult if a person's health is broken. What a poignant picture you have painted with your words.
Hugs, Cindy
Podso,
ReplyDeleteLoving memories of my beloved in~laws come flooding over me as I read this post. They were married 58 years, 53 together...7 years my mother~in~law was in the Nursing Home. For 5 of those years my father~in~law missed only an occasion day and the 27 days he was hospitalized before he paseed away. Their love and devotion to one another is such a "family heirloom" to my husband and I...more than any possesion of theirs! When we were stationed in Germany, I was smitten with a figurine of an aging couple on a sette. "Mr. Ed" thought it was hideous. He surprised me with the figurine for my anniversary. When I opened it, tears welled in my eyes. I turned to him and recited..."Grow old with me, the BEST is yet to be." He understood. That figurine sits in our living room where we are reminded everyday of the great love we have for one another. I'm sure you and the Gardener have that kind of love, as well!
Fondly,
Pat
Touching post! I spend several hours a week with my Mom at the nursing home where she lives and I see a lot of sad situations and I definitely agree with"old age isn't for sissies". I guess the moral of the story is to enjoy and appreciate the life we have now and hope for the best.
ReplyDeleteTake care,
Carolyn
Oh this sounds like a page out of a dear family friends night time ritual. He's 91 and she's 90. They are soo sweet together and if there is a day when he can't get there he calls and sings to her, prays with her and let's her know just how much he still loves her.
ReplyDeleteLeann
Your post makes me cry.
ReplyDeleteNo, it isn't for sissies! I always say "give me a heart attack" after watching my father literally fall apart from old age. Isn't it wonderful that couples stay together and care for each other as long as they can. I too can't imagine that kind of a day! A lovely tribute!
ReplyDeleteThis was so beautiful to read, Dotsie, and your parent's photo is so precious. Look at the joyful love in your Mother's eyes as she looked at your handsome Dad! Your Dad looked back at her with so much love and protection.
ReplyDeleteMy Mother was widowed very young and lived longer that way then as a wife. She always talked about how happy she would be to be reunited with my Dad one day, and we recently chose the words "Together Again" to be inscribed on their memorial gravestone.
Life give us many hard lessons on how to endure a separation--but if we are lucky two things will endure forever--faith and love.
Thank you for your kinds words to me and this beautiful post!