Tuesday, April 09, 2013

a hug around my neck



 A curious square box arrived at my door from an unfamiliar address. It was just a couple of days 
after my mother’s death and tears filled my eyes as I opened a "knitted hug" 
from a blogger friend. I was overwhelmed with her thoughtfulness 
and the wonderful sentiment expressed in the enclosed card.    
I’ve been a fan of Tanna’s blog for years, and always delight in her beautiful, prolific handwork. 
To have one of my own seemed surreal. And indeed it was a hug. I enjoy wearing it around my
 shoulders, bringing comfort and warmth in the cool weather --- not to mention 
it includes my favorite colors (as you see from the pillows on my sofa.)

Wow. Her gift was just one example of the outpouring of love and sympathy we received after 
my mother’s death. I  learned a LOT about how to care for someone when they are mourning.
Meals, flowers and plants to tenderly care for, a prayer shawl, cards, notes, 
visits and the list could go on.  
Maybe one of the best lessons came from my youngest friend. 
Rather than saying "Let me know what I can do for you or if you need a meal ..." she said, 
"I'm bringing you a meal, and please choose which night of these three is best for you."
The effort people made to join us--from near and far--for the celebration of mom's
 life ... I was amazed at how much that comforted and encouraged me. 

And many comforting hugs. It reminds me of the song I love to sing to "Little One":
 "I love you a bushel and a peck ... and a hug around the neck."

I do hope I'll do better next time someone I know suffers a loss.
 

18 comments:

  1. Podso,
    The "Hug" is truly a work of heART!!!
    I love all of the outpouring that you've experienced, dear friend. The heartfelt caring will calm your sorrows for many days ahead.
    Precious post!
    Fondly,
    Pat

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  2. What a thoughtful gift and comforting gift. I think it's good to review what works well for providing that special touch... Has anyone written a book?

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  3. It's beautiful and I know you feel that "hug" from Tanna when your wrap it around your shoulders!!

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  4. A thoughtful gift at your time of need. It's difficult to know what to say or do sometimes after the passing of someone, but it sounds like your friends and neighbours looked after you.
    Judith

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  5. What a beautiful and thoughtful gift! Very special and for a special lady and friend. Blessings, Pamela

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  6. That is a practical and encouraging love, to be sure. May God bless you and hug you through it.

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  7. What a lovely thoughtful gift...I am so glad that you have people who are comforting you and wrapping their arms and thoughts and prayers around you.
    It certainly helps to lift that very difficult burden of sorrow. I try to take in meals, but sometimes I feel like I have to do something more...I remember when both my parents passed away and what I felt I needed and try to recognise if anyone needs some of those same things. A friend came and spent an evening with me when my husband had to be gone about 3 weeks after my father died, and it was so wonderful that she would think of me. Many times I have ...get this....cleaned someone's bathroom!!!...when I know they will have out of town guests and probably will not feel up to cleaning! It seems like a really sillly thing to do, but they have ususally been grateful and surprised. I just have to do something!
    HOpe you continue to get hugs and care, comfort is needed for quite some time after your Mom's passing.
    Heart hugs to you,
    Betsy

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  8. This is such a nice post. I think your knitted hug is lovely and such a kind and thoughtful gesture. I always find it humbling to see how kind people can be when we are suffering a loss.

    Thank you for sharing these things with us, and I'll be thinking of you.

    Denise

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  9. What a lovely 'hug' you received! People do show a lot of compassion and love at times like these. So very sorry for your loss. Take care and I will be thinking of you.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

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  10. What a lovely gift. And I want to copy the whole post because it is filled with such good things to remember when offering comfort. (I can't make a shawl, but the way your other friend offered the meal, with the choice, is a perfect idea.

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  11. It's nice to hear what people do and what is really needful and appreciated. Sometimes we just don't know what to do!
    Thanks for the idea of a meal and a choice of which day.
    That Tanna is a darling, I told her in her comment section today that she is more like her wise old aunts than what she realizes, and then I see this, she is truly wonderful!
    Love and hugs, Cindy

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  12. So sweet of Tanna - love the sentiment of a hug around the neck. Yes, it seems that we learn so much from experience doesn't it.

    xo

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  13. Your young friend's approach to helping is a great lesson to us all. Glad you were comforted with such an outpouring of love.

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  14. That's a beautiful hug to wear around your neck. I'm glad you had so much comfort. Truly, it's hard to know what to do or say until one has been through it themselves.

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  15. Dotsie, your young friend is very wise. I learned something from her in your post today that I hope I will remember and practice. I'm very happy your hug made it... and I hope you will continue to feel the love and hugs prn. blessings and love ~ tanna

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  16. :) God has provided you with comforts and helps of all kinds it seems. All of this bears witness to his goodness and care for his who suffer. His compassion is very great.

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  17. That's a lovely neck-hugger, and I like the color too!

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  18. A wonderful and thoughtful gesture from Tanna, and some other friends you have mentioned Podso... It's really nice to have people like them around us especially when we feel down!

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