Two weeks ago, when Spouse and I were back in his hometown for his sister's funeral, we observed an amazing thing. Community. His sister's kids were pretty tied down in the evenings caring for her, so, instead of going out, their friends came to them. The old house became a gathering place and friends were just as much at home in this house as their own. They called Spouse's sister "Mom" or "Mama" and it seems they all had a part in taking care of her. Her hospital bed was positioned to see the door and she could observe the comings and goings and be a part of the kids' lives. Remarkable.
These kids, growing up in a small town, have been together since kindergarten. Not many move in or out of this town, so the friendships are stable and they know each other very well. We watched as they cared for the brother and sister who had just lost their second parent. They helped in the house, they worked on photos for the funeral, they seemed to know where everything was. But most important, they were just there. They just came and hung out. I got them talking about memories of "Mom" and the stories flew...funny and sad, with smiles and tears.
I realized how much they were helping with the pain of loss. No special words or deeds––they were just there. Helping to manage the pain.
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That is what it's all about, isn't it.
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